He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
