I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
