and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize