this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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