i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
