You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
