you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
