Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
