do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
