The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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