I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize