brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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