There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
