whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize