wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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