I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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