Sponge bath it is.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
