I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
