I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
