his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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