hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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