I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
