Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
