God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
