Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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