Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
