My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
