New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
