Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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