How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
