We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
