So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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