stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
