So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize