She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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