Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
