where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
