I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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