It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
