was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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