12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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