nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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