she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
