i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
