Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my sisters under your porch take her home
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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