I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
