I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize