we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
