In the future we'll all be gay
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My vagina just recognized that song.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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