That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize