I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
