so that wasnt chicken after all
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You left your phone here
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