It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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