No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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