she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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