You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
