Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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