you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize