dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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