i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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