I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
