Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
