erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
