I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
