Porn is love you can see.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
