coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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