He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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