he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
