Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I am one with the molecules
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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