marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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