Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
