similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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