...so i touched it.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
