no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dick very happy bro
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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