If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize