he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
