D3 body, D1 cock
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
