i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
