I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
