After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
