your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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